Wayfaring Wednesday

Thanksgiving: Where Logistics, Food, and a Little Bit of Chaos All Live Together

Thanksgiving in a large family isn’t just a meal — it’s a full-scale operation. There’s the menu, the timing, the oven rotation schedule, and the inevitable moment someone realizes mashed potatoes require actual potatoes and not wishful thinking.

We all plan the food and the logistics ahead of time… but here’s the secret most families forget: Conflict can be planned for too.

Not in a dramatic way — more like gentle, preventative care. When you have a lot of people in one space, hungry, tired, and bumping elbows, anything can become a spark. But a little structure does wonders.

Give people something to do.
Chop veggies, set the table, stir the gravy, entertain the toddlers — idle hands create idle commentary, and bored people will eventually ramble into territory no one wants to visit.

Give people something safe to talk about.
Prompt it if you need to:

• What’s one thing you learned this year?

• Funniest moment from the past month?

• What’s something you’re looking forward to?

It keeps the tone light and redirects wandering conversations away from politics, parenting critiques, and 2014 grievances.

Also — remember that in big families, people speak quickly, loudly, and sometimes without filters. Most of the time, it’s not a jab… it’s just speed. Help everyone see that.

And when the unexpected guest shows up in a brand-new sports car? Celebrate it. Keep it light. Let them enjoy their moment without letting jealousy sneak into the room. A simple, “We’re happy for you — you’ve wanted that for years,” shuts down comparison before it starts.

Because what’s luxury to one person is a baby, a job, a vacation, or just a peaceful year to someone else.

In a large family, gratitude works better than perfection. Celebrate the obvious blessings in front of you, skip the heavy stuff, and let the day be what it was always meant to be — a table full of imperfect people doing their best to love each other well.

And honestly… that’s more than enough.

Real Talk: The “Cone of Shame” We Wear About Money

You know that look dogs give you when they’re stuck in the cone of shame?
That mix of regret, frustration, and “please don’t judge me”?

Honestly… that’s how a lot of people feel about their finances.

Maybe it’s past debt.
Maybe it’s medical bills.
Maybe it’s credit that needs a little love.
Maybe life went sideways for a season.

And instead of asking for help, we walk around with our own invisible cone — stiff, uncomfortable, and keeping us from moving forward.

Here’s the truth:

Shame steals more years than debt ever will.

Debt can be fixed.
Credit can be rebuilt.
Savings can grow again.
Life can restart at any age.

But shame?
Shame keeps you stuck.
Shame makes you avoid the lender.
Shame makes you whisper your goals instead of confidently planning them.
Shame convinces you that you’re the only one who’s behind — and you’re absolutely not.

Let me take this one step further: Read More Here!

A Note From Sandra

I’m going to be writing a lot more about money, real estate investing, and the financial worries so many families quietly carry over the next few months. With four adult children leaving the nest at the same time, it’s a huge topic in my own life — and I know many of you are walking through similar seasons.

I’m also taking a handful of real estate finance courses right now, so my brain is full of new ideas, smarter strategies, and practical ways to approach housing and investing with peace instead of pressure. Not everything I write will make it into this newsletter, but you can always check out the ongoing mix of articles at www.WayfaringLancaster.com. I’m building topics that range from basic financial clarity to investor-focused concepts and more advanced wealth-building conversations.

Writing is fun for me — and honestly, when we’re learning, we naturally want to share. So that’s exactly where I am right now. Learning. Growing. And passing it along to you.

New “Real Talk” Topics Coming Your Way

Here’s a peek at what I’ll be covering soon:

• What to Do When You’re Embarrassed About Your Finances
  (Because shame steals more years than debt ever will.)

• How to Discuss Money With Your Agent & Lender
  Without feeling like you’re oversharing or being judged.

• Buying a Home When You Feel Behind
  Especially for second acts, blended families, and late-in-life buyers.

• Downsizing to Maximize Retirement
  Why smaller sometimes means stronger.

• The Quiet Link Between Money Stress & Health
  And how to make decisions that bring peace.

• Financial Recovery After Divorce, Layoffs, or Medical Bills
  Real strategies for rebuilding, not just surviving.

• Teaching Kids About Money Without Shame
  (Especially helpful if your kids are launching into adulthood like mine.)

• Credit in a Nutshell
  Practical, clear guidance without the overwhelm.

• Why Many Homeowners Are Becoming Investors
  And how you can start safely, even with one property.

My goal is simple:
to help you feel calm, confident, and better equipped to make decisions about your home and your future.

And Yes — It’s Officially a Buyer’s Market

Q: How do you discuss money with your agent? It feels too personal! “It can feel a bit like touring homes with your doctor following right behind you — too personal, too close, and not the moment for that level of detail.“

Talking about money can make even the most confident, successful people feel a little exposed. And honestly? I get it. Sharing your finances with someone you know — or might see at church, school events, or around Lancaster —It can feel a bit like touring homes with your doctor following right behind you — too personal, too close, and not the moment for that level of detail.

So here’s the truth that most people don’t hear:

Your deepest financial conversations happen with your mortgage lender, not your real estate agent. More Here!

It’s officially a buyer’s market! But be careful because there is still competition for some homes - especially those investors scoop up.

It’s Officially a Buyer’s Market

We’ve finally shifted into true buyer-friendly territory — and honestly, it’s been a long time coming.

Homes are sitting longer.
Sellers are making more concessions.
Price drops are becoming normal again.
And buyers finally have room to breathe, think, negotiate, and choose wisely.

If you’ve been waiting for the right moment… this is the calm you were hoping for.

You don’t need to rush. You don’t need to compete with 12 offers. And you absolutely don’t need to settle.

If you’re curious what this shift means for your price range or your neighborhood, I’m happy to walk you through it — no pressure, just clarity.

Sandra Burkholder, EXP Realty
Licensed Real Estate Agent since 2000
Serving Lancaster, Chester, Berks, and York County, PA

Connecting you to your dream home and the heart of the community with a professional yet approachable touch.

www.sandraburkholder.com | www.wayfaringlancaster.com
[email protected] | [email protected]

Not intended to solicit any properties already listed for sale with another real estate agent. If your home is already for sale, then please disregard this message.

Get Pre-Approved Before house hunting. I recommend contacting Shelly.